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<option value="4">Chapter 4: The Efficient Market Hypothesis</option>
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<option value="17" selected>Chapter 17: Locating the Hypothesis</option>
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<option value="66">Chapter 66: Self Actualization, Pt 1</option>
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<div id="chapter-title">Chapter 17: Locating the
Hypothesis<br /></div>
<div style='' class='storycontent' id='storycontent'>
<p>You have always been J. K. Rowling.</p>
<p>Historical note: In the Roman calendar, the "Ides" of a month
referred to the 15th day of March, May, July, and October, and to
the 13th day of all other months.</p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p><i>"You start to see the pattern, hear the rhythm of the
world."</i></p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p>Thursday.</p>
<p>If you wanted to be specific, 7:24am on Thursday morning.</p>
<p>Harry was sitting on his bed, a textbook lying limp in his
motionless hands.</p>
<p>Harry had just had an idea for a <i>truly brilliant</i>
experimental test.</p>
<p>It would mean waiting an extra hour for breakfast, but that was
why he had cereal bars. No, this idea absolutely positively had to
be tested right away, immediately, now.</p>
<p>Harry set the textbook aside, leapt out of bed, raced around his
bed, yanked out the cavern level of his trunk, ran down the stairs,
and started moving boxes of books around. (He really needed to
unpack and get bookcases at some point but he was in the middle of
his textbook reading contest with Hermione and falling behind so he
hadn't had time.)</p>
<p>Harry found the book he wanted and raced back upstairs.</p>
<p>The other boys were getting ready to go down to breakfast in the
Great Hall and start the day.</p>
<p>"Excuse me can you do something for me?" said Harry. He was
flipping through the book's index as he spoke, found the page with
the first ten thousand primes, flipped to that page, and thrust the
book at Anthony Goldstein. "Pick two three-digit numbers from this
list. Don't tell me what they are. Just multiply them together and
tell me the product. Oh, and can you do the calculation twice to
double-check? Please make really sure you've got the right answer,
I'm not sure what's going to happen to me or the universe if you
make a multiplication error."</p>
<p>It said a lot about what life in that dorm had been like over
the past few days that Anthony didn't even bother saying anything
like "Why'd you suddenly flip out?" or "That seems really weird,
what are your reasons for asking?" or "What do you mean, you're not
sure what's going to happen to the universe?"</p>
<p>Anthony wordlessly accepted the book and took out a parchment
and quill. Harry spun around and shut his eyes, making sure not to
see anything, dancing back and forth and bouncing up and down with
impatience. He got a pad of paper and a mechanical pencil and got
ready to write.</p>
<p>"Okay," Anthony said, "One hundred and eighty-one thousand, four
hundred and twenty-nine."</p>
<p>Harry wrote down 181,429. He repeated what he'd just written
down, and Anthony confirmed it.</p>
<p>Then Harry raced back down into the cavern level of his trunk,
glanced at his watch (the watch said 4:28 which meant 7:28) and
then shut his eyes.</p>
<p>Around thirty seconds later, Harry heard the sound of steps,
followed by the sound of the cavern level of the trunk sliding
shut. (Harry wasn't worried about suffocating. An automatic
Air-Freshening Charm was part of what you got if you were willing
to buy a really good trunk. Wasn't magic wonderful, it didn't have
to worry about electric bills.)</p>
<p>And when Harry opened his eyes, he saw just what he'd been
hoping to see, a folded piece of paper left on the floor, the gift
of his future self.</p>
<p>Call that piece of paper "Paper-2".</p>
<p>Harry tore a piece of paper off his pad.</p>
<p>Call that "Paper-1". It was, of course, the same piece of paper.
You could even see, if you looked closely, that the ragged edges
matched.</p>
<p>Harry reviewed in his mind the algorithm that he would
follow.</p>
<p>If Harry opened up Paper-2 and it was blank, then he would write
"101 x 101" down on Paper-1, fold it up, study for an hour, go back
in time, drop off Paper-1 (which would thereby become Paper-2), and
head on up out of the cavern level to join his dorm mates for
breakfast.</p>
<p>If Harry opened up Paper-2 and it had two numbers written on it,
Harry would multiply those numbers together.</p>
<p>If their product equaled 181,429, Harry would write down those
two numbers on Paper-1 and send Paper-1 back in time.</p>
<p>Otherwise Harry would add 2 to the number on the right and write
down the new pair of numbers on Paper-1. Unless that made the
number on the right greater than 997, in which case Harry would add
2 to the number on the left and write down 101 on the right.</p>
<p>And if Paper-2 said 997 x 997, Harry would leave Paper-1
blank.</p>
<p>Which meant that the only possible <i>stable</i> time loop was
the one in which Paper-2 contained the two prime factors of
181,429.</p>
<p>If this worked, Harry could use it to recover any sort of answer
that was easy to check but hard to find. He wouldn't have
<i>just</i> shown that P=NP once you had a Time-Turner, this trick
was <i>more general</i> than that. Harry could use it to find the
combinations on combination locks, or passwords of every sort.
Maybe even find the entrance to Slytherin's Chamber of Secrets, if
Harry could figure out some systematic way of describing all the
locations in Hogwarts. It would be an awesome cheat even by Harry's
standards of cheating.</p>
<p>Harry took Paper-2 in his trembling hand, and unfolded it.</p>
<p>Paper-2 said in slightly shaky handwriting:</p>
<p>DO NOT MESS WITH TIME</p>
<p>Harry wrote down "DO NOT MESS WITH TIME" on Paper-1 in slightly
shaky handwriting, folded it neatly, and resolved not to do any
more truly brilliant experiments on Time until he was at least
fifteen years old.</p>
<p>To the best of Harry's knowledge, that had been the scariest
experimental result in the entire history of science.</p>
<p>It had been somewhat difficult for Harry to focus on reading his
textbook for the next hour.</p>
<p>That was how Harry's Thursday started.</p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p>Thursday.</p>
<p>If you wanted to be specific, 3:32pm on Thursday afternoon.</p>
<p>Harry and all the other boys in the first year were outside on a
grassy field with Madam Hooch, standing next to the Hogwarts supply
of broomsticks. The girls would be learning to fly separately.
Apparently, for some reason, girls didn't want to learn how to fly
on broomsticks in the presence of boys.</p>
<p>Harry had been a little wobbly all day long. He just couldn't
seem to stop wondering how that <i>particular</i> stable time loop
had been selected out of what was, in retrospect, a rather large
space of possibilities.</p>
<p>Also: seriously, <i>broomsticks?</i> He was going to fly on,
basically, a line segment? Wasn't that pretty much the single most
unstable shape you could possibly find, short of attempting to hold
on to a point marble? Who'd selected <i>that</i> design for a
flying device, out of all the possibilities? Harry had been hoping
that it was just a figure of speech, but no, they were standing in
front of what looked for all the world like ordinary wooden kitchen
broomsticks. Had someone just gotten stuck on the idea of
broomsticks and failed to consider anything else? It had to be.
There was no way that the <i>optimal</i> designs for cleaning
kitchens and flying would happen to coincide if you worked them out
from scratch.</p>
<p>It was a clear day with a bright blue sky and a brilliant sun
that was just begging to get in your eyes and make it impossible to
see, if you were trying to fly around the sky. The ground was nice
and dry, smelling positively baked, and somehow felt very, very
hard under Harry's shoes.</p>
<p>Harry kept reminding himself that the lowest common denominator
of eleven-year-olds was expected to learn this and it couldn't be
that hard.</p>
<p>"Stick out your right hand over the broom, or left hand if
you're left-handed," called Madam Hooch. "And say, UP!"</p>
<p>"UP!" everyone shouted.</p>
<p>The broomstick leapt eagerly into Harry's hand.</p>
<p>Which put him at the head of the class, for once. Apparently
saying "UP!" was a lot more difficult than it looked, and most of
the broomsticks were rolling around on the ground or trying to inch
away from their would-be riders.</p>
<p>(Of course Harry would have bet money that Hermione had done at
least as well when it came her own turn to try, earlier in the day.
There couldn't possibly be anything <i>he</i> could master on the
first try which would baffle Hermione, and if there <i>was</i> and
it turned out to be <i>broomstick riding</i> instead of anything
intellectual, Harry would just die.)</p>
<p>It took a while for everyone to get a broomstick in front of
them. Madam Hooch showed them how to mount and then walked around
the field, correcting grips and stances. Apparently even among the
few children who'd been allowed to fly at home, they hadn't been
taught to do it correctly.</p>
<p>Madam Hooch surveyed the field of boys, and nodded. "Now, when I
blow my whistle, you kick off from the ground, hard."</p>
<p>Harry swallowed hard, trying to quell the queasy feeling in his
stomach.</p>
<p>"Keep your brooms steady, rise a few feet, and then come
straight back down by leaning forwards slightly. On my whistle -
three - two -"</p>
<p>One of the brooms shot skyward, accompanied by a young boy's
screams - of horror, not delight. The boy was spinning at an awful
rate as he ascended, they only got glimpses of his white face -</p>
<p>As though in slow motion, Harry was leaping back off his own
broomstick and scrabbling for his wand, though he didn't really
know what he planned to do with it, he'd had exactly two sessions
of Charms and the last one <i>had</i> been the Hover Charm but
Harry had only been able to cast the spell successfully one time
out of three and he certainly couldn't levitate whole people -</p>
<p><i>If there is any hidden power in me, let it reveal itself
NOW!</i></p>
<p>"Come back, boy!" shouted Madam Hooch (which had to be the most
unhelpful instruction imaginable for dealing with an out-of-control
broomstick, from a <i>flying instructor</i>, and a fully automatic
section of Harry's brain added Madam Hooch to his tally of
fools).</p>
<p>And the boy was thrown off the broomstick.</p>
<p>He seemed to move very slowly through the air, at first.</p>
<p>"<i>Wingardium Leviosa!</i> " screamed Harry.</p>
<p>The spell failed. He could feel it fail.</p>
<p>There was a THUD and a distant cracking sound, and the boy lay
facedown on the grass in a heap.</p>
<p>Harry sheathed his wand and raced forwards at full speed. He
arrived at the boy's side at the same time as Madam Hooch, and
Harry reached into his pouch and tried to recall oh god what was
the name never mind he'd just try "Healer's Pack!" and it popped up
into his hand and -</p>
<p>"Broken wrist," Madam Hooch said. "Calm down, boy, he just has a
broken wrist!"</p>
<p>There was a sort of mental lurch as Harry's mind snapped out of
Panic Mode.</p>
<p>The Emergency Healing Pack Plus lay open in front of him, and
there was a syringe of liquid fire in Harry's hand, which would
have kept the boy's brain oxygenated if he'd managed to snap his
neck.</p>
<p>"Ah..." Harry said in a rather wavering sort of voice. His heart
was pounding so loudly that he almost couldn't hear himself panting
for breath. "Broken bone... right... Setting String?"</p>
<p>"That's for emergencies only," snapped Madam Hooch. "Put it
away, he's fine." She leaned over the boy, offering him a hand.
"Come on, boy, it's all right, up you get!"</p>
<p>"You're not seriously going to make him ride the broomstick
again?" Harry said in horror.</p>
<p>Madam Hooch sent Harry a glare. "Of course not!" She pulled the
boy to his feet using his good arm - Harry saw with a shock that it
was Neville Longbottom <i>again,</i> what was <i>with</i> him? -
and she turned to all the watching children. "None of you is to
move while I take this boy to the hospital wing! You leave those
brooms where they are or you'll be out of Hogwarts before you can
say 'Quidditch.' Come on, dear."</p>
<p>And Madam Hooch walked off with Neville, who was clutching his
wrist and trying to control his sniffles.</p>
<p>When they were out of earshot, one of the Slytherins started
giggling.</p>
<p>That set off the others.</p>
<p>Harry turned and looked at them. It seemed like a good time to
memorise some faces.</p>
<p>And Harry saw that Draco was strolling towards him, accompanied
by Mr. Crabbe and Mr. Goyle. Mr. Crabbe wasn't smiling. Mr. Goyle
decidedly was. Draco himself was wearing a very controlled face
that twitched occasionally, from which Harry inferred that Draco
thought it was hilarious but saw no political advantage to be
gained by laughing about it now instead of in the Slytherin
dungeons afterwards.</p>
<p>"Well, Potter," Draco said in a low voice that didn't carry,
still with that very controlled face that was twitching
occasionally, "Just wanted to say, when you take advantage of
emergencies to demonstrate leadership, you want to look like you're
in total control of the situation, rather than, say, going into a
complete panic." Mr. Goyle giggled, and Draco shot him a quelling
look. "But you probably scored a few points anyway. You need any
help stowing that healer's kit?"</p>
<p>Harry turned to look at the Healing Pack, which got his own face
turned away from Draco. "I think I'm fine," Harry said. He put the
syringe back in its place, redid the latches, and stood up.</p>
<p>Ernie Macmillan arrived just as Harry was feeding the pack back
into his mokeskin pouch.</p>
<p>"Thank you, Harry Potter, on behalf of Hufflepuff," Ernie
Macmillan said formally. "It was a good try and a good
thought."</p>
<p>"A good thought indeed," drawled Draco. "Why didn't anyone in
Hufflepuff have their wands out? Maybe if you'd <i>all</i> helped
instead of just Potter, you could've caught him. I thought
Hufflepuffs were supposed to stick together?"</p>
<p>Ernie looked like he was torn between getting angry and wanting
to die of shame. "We didn't think of it in time -"</p>
<p>"Ah," said Draco, "didn't <i>think</i> of it, I guess that's why
it's better to have one Ravenclaw as a friend than all of
Hufflepuff."</p>
<p>Oh, hell, how was Harry supposed to juggle this one... "You're
not helping," Harry said in a mild tone. Hoping Draco would
interpret that as <i>you're interfering with my plans, please shut
up.</i></p>
<p>"Hey, what's this?" said Mr. Goyle. He stooped to the grass and
picked up something around the size of a large marble, a glass ball
that seemed to be filled with a swirling white mist.</p>
<p>Ernie blinked. "Neville's Remembrall!"</p>
<p>"What's a Remembrall?" asked Harry.</p>
<p>"It turns red if you've forgotten something," Ernie said. "It
doesn't tell you what you forgot, though. Give it here, please, and
I'll hand it back to Neville later." Ernie held out his hand.</p>
<p>A sudden grin flashed across Mr. Goyle's face and he spun around
and raced away.</p>
<p>Ernie stood still for a moment in surprise, and then shouted
"Hey!" and ran after Mr. Goyle.</p>
<p>And Mr. Goyle grabbed a broomstick, hopped on with one smooth
motion and took to the air.</p>
<p>Harry's jaw dropped. Hadn't Madam Hooch said that would get him
<i>expelled?</i></p>
<p><i>"That idiot!</i> " Draco hissed. He opened his mouth to shout
-</p>
<p>"<i>Hey!</i> " shouted Ernie. "That's Neville's! <i>Give it
back!</i> "</p>
<p>The Slytherins started cheering and hooting.</p>
<p>Draco's mouth snapped shut. Harry caught the sudden look of
indecision on his face.</p>
<p>"Draco," Harry said in a low tone, "if you don't order that
idiot back on the ground, the teacher's going to get back and
-"</p>
<p>"<i>Come and get it, Hufflepuffle!</i> " shouted Mr. Goyle, and
a great cheer went up from the Slytherins.</p>
<p>"I <i>can't!</i> " whispered Draco. "Everyone in Slytherin would
think I'm <i>weak!</i> "</p>
<p>"And if Mr. Goyle gets expelled," hissed Harry, "your
<i>father</i> is going to think you're a <i>moron!</i> "</p>
<p>Draco's face twisted in agony.</p>
<p>At that moment -</p>
<p>"Hey, <i>Slytherslime</i>," shouted Ernie, "didn't anyone ever
tell you that Hufflepuffs stick together? <i>Wands out,
Hufflepuff!</i> "</p>
<p>And there were suddenly a whole lot of wands pointed in Mr.
Goyle's direction.</p>
<p>Three seconds later -</p>
<p>"<i>Wands out, Slytherin!</i> " said around five different
Slytherins.</p>
<p>And there were a whole lot of wands pointed in Hufflepuff's
direction.</p>
<p>Two seconds later -</p>
<p>"<i>Wands out, Gryffindor!</i> "</p>
<p>"<i>Do something, Potter!</i> " whispered Draco. "<i>I can't be
the one to stop this it has to be you! I'll owe you a favour just
think of something aren't you supposed to be brilliant?</i> "</p>
<p>In around five and a half seconds, realised Harry, someone was
going to cast the Sumerian Simple Strike Hex and by the time it was
over and the teachers were done expelling people the only boys left
in his year would be Ravenclaws.</p>
<p>"<i>Wands out, Ravenclaw!</i> " shouted Michael Corner who was
apparently feeling left out of the disaster.</p>
<p>"<i>GREGORY GOYLE!"</i> screamed Harry<i>. "I challenge you to a
contest for possession of Neville's Remembrall!"</i></p>
<p>There was a sudden pause.</p>
<p>"Oh, really?" said Draco in the loudest drawl Harry had ever
heard. "That sounds interesting. What sort of contest, Potter?"</p>
<p>Er...</p>
<p>"Contest" had been as far as Harry's inspiration had gotten.
What sort of contest, he couldn't say "chess" because Draco
wouldn't be able to accept without it looking strange, he couldn't
say "arm-wrestling" because Mr. Goyle would crush him -</p>
<p>"How about this?" Harry said loudly. "Gregory Goyle and I stand
apart from each other, and no one else is allowed to come near
either of us. We don't use our wands and neither does anyone else.
I don't move from where I'm standing, and neither does he. And if I
can get my hands on Neville's Remembrall, then Gregory Goyle
relinquishes all claim to that Remembrall he's holding and gives it
to me."</p>
<p>There was another pause as people's looks of relief transmuted
to confusion.</p>
<p>"Hah, Potter!" said Draco loudly. "I'd like to see you do
<i>that!</i> Mr. Goyle accepts!"</p>
<p>"It's on!" said Harry.</p>
<p>"Potter, <i>what?</i> " whispered Draco, which he somehow did
without moving his lips.</p>
<p>Harry didn't know how to answer without moving his.</p>
<p>People were putting their wands away, and Mr. Goyle swooped
gracefully to the ground, looking rather confused. Some Hufflepuffs
started over towards Mr. Goyle, but Harry shot them a desperately
pleading look and they backed off.</p>
<p>Harry walked toward Mr. Goyle and stopped when he was a few
paces away, far enough apart that they couldn't reach each
other.</p>
<p>Slowly, deliberately, Harry sheathed his wand.</p>
<p>Everyone else backed away.</p>
<p>Harry swallowed. He knew in broad outline what he <i>wanted</i>
to do, but it had to be done in such a way that no one understood
<i>what</i> he'd done -</p>
<p>"All right," Harry said loudly. "And now..." He took a deep
breath and raised one hand, fingers ready to snap. There were gasps
from anyone who'd heard about the pies, which was practically
everyone. "<i>I call upon the insanity of Hogwarts! Happy happy
boom boom swamp swamp swamp!</i> " And Harry snapped his
fingers.</p>
<p>A lot of people flinched.</p>
<p>And nothing happened.</p>
<p>Harry let the silence stretch on for a while, developing,
until...</p>
<p>"Um," someone said. "Is that it?"</p>
<p>Harry looked at the boy who'd spoken. "Look in front of you. You
see that patch of ground that looks barren, without any grass on
it?"</p>
<p>"Um, yeah," said the boy, a Gryffindor (Dean something?).</p>
<p>"Dig it up."</p>
<p>Now Harry was getting a lot of strange looks.</p>
<p>"Er, why?" said Dean something.</p>
<p>"Just do it," said Terry Boot in a weary voice. "No point asking
why, trust me on this one."</p>
<p>Dean something kneeled down and began to scoop away dirt.</p>
<p>After a minute or so, Dean stood up again. "There's nothing
there," Dean said.</p>
<p>Huh. Harry had been planning to go back in time and bury a
treasure map that would lead to another treasure map that would
lead to Neville's Remembrall which he would put there after getting
it back from Mr. Goyle...</p>
<p>Then Harry realised there was a much simpler way which didn't
threaten the secret of Time-Turners quite as much.</p>
<p>"Thanks, Dean!" Harry said loudly. "Ernie, would you look around
on the ground where Neville fell and see if you can find Neville's
Remembrall?"</p>
<p>People looked even more confused.</p>
<p>"Just do it," said Terry Boot. "He'll keep trying until
something works, and the scary thing is that -"</p>
<p>"<i>Merlin!</i> " gasped Ernie. He was holding up Neville's
Remembrall. "It's <i>here!</i> Right where he fell!"</p>
<p>"<i>What?</i> " cried Mr. Goyle. He looked down and saw...</p>
<p>...that he was still holding Neville's Remembrall.</p>
<p>There was a rather long pause.</p>
<p>"Er," said Dean something, "that's not possible, is it?"</p>
<p>"It's a plot hole," said Harry. "I made myself weird enough to
distract the universe for a moment and it forgot that Goyle had
already picked up the Remembrall."</p>
<p>"No, wait, I mean, that's <i>totally</i> not possible -"</p>
<p>"Excuse me, are we all standing around here waiting to go flying
on broomsticks? Yes we are. So shut up. Anyway, once I get my hands
on Neville's Remembrall, the contest is over and Gregory Goyle has
to relinquish all claim to the Remembrall he's holding and give it
to me. Those were the terms, remember?" Harry stretched out a hand
and beckoned Ernie. "Just roll it over here, since no one's
supposed to get close to me, okay?"</p>
<p>"Hold on!" shouted a Slytherin - Blaise Zabini, Harry wasn't
likely to forget that name. "How do we know that's Neville's
Remembrall? You could've just dropped <i>another</i> Remembrall
there -"</p>
<p>"The Slytherin is strong with this one," Harry said, smiling.
"But you have my word that the one Ernie's holding is Neville's. No
comment about the one Gregory Goyle's holding."</p>
<p>Zabini spun to Draco. "<i>Malfoy!</i> You're not just going to
let him get away with that -"</p>
<p>"Shut up, you," rumbled Mr. Crabbe, standing behind Draco. "Mr.
Malfoy doesn't need <i>you</i> to tell him what to do!"</p>
<p><i>Good</i> minion.</p>
<p>"My bet was with Draco, of the Noble and Most Ancient House of
Malfoy," Harry said. "Not with you, Zabini. I have done what Mr.
Malfoy said he'd like to see me do, and as for the judgment of the
bet, I leave that up to Mr. Malfoy." Harry inclined his head
towards Draco and raised his eyebrows slightly. That ought to allow
Draco to save enough face.</p>
<p>There was a pause.</p>
<p>"You promise that actually <i>is</i> Neville's Remembrall?"
Draco said.</p>
<p>"Yes," Harry said. "That's the one that'll go back to Neville
and it was his originally. And the one Gregory Goyle's holding goes
to me."</p>
<p>Draco nodded, looking decisive. "I won't question the word of
the Noble House of Potter, then, no matter how strange that all
was. And the Noble and Most Ancient House of Malfoy keeps its word
as well. Mr. Goyle, give that to Mr. Potter -"</p>
<p>"Hey!" Zabini said. "He hasn't won <i>yet</i>, he hasn't got his
hands on -"</p>
<p>"Catch, Harry!" said Ernie, and he tossed the Remembrall.</p>
<p>Harry easily snapped the Remembrall out of the air, he'd always
had good reflexes that way. "There," said Harry, "I win..."</p>
<p>Harry trailed off. All conversation stopped.</p>
<p>The Remembrall was glowing bright red in his hand, blazing like
a miniature sun that cast shadows on the ground in broad
daylight.</p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p>Thursday.</p>
<p>If you wanted to be specific, 5:09pm on Thursday afternoon, in
Professor McGonagall's office, after flying classes. (With an extra
hour for Harry slipped in between.)</p>
<p>Professor McGonagall sitting on her stool. Harry in the hot seat
in front of her desk.</p>
<p>"Professor," Harry said tightly, "Slytherin was pointing their
wands at Hufflepuff, Gryffindor was pointing their wands at
Slytherin, some <i>idiot</i> called wands out in Ravenclaw, and I
had maybe five seconds to keep the whole thing from blowing
sky-high! It was all I could think of!"</p>
<p>Professor McGonagall's face was pinched and angry. "<i>You are
not to use the Time-Turner in that fashion, Mr. Potter!</i> Is the
concept of secrecy not something that you understand?"</p>
<p>"They don't <i>know</i> how I did it! They just think I can do
really weird things by snapping my fingers! I've done other weird
stuff that can't be done with Time-Turners even, and I'll do
<i>more</i> stuff like that, and <i>this</i> case won't even stand
out! I <i>had to do it,</i> Professor!"</p>
<p>"You did <i>not</i> have to do it!" snapped Professor
McGonagall. "All you needed to do was get this <i>anonymous
Slytherin</i> back on the ground and the wands put away! You could
have challenged him to a game of Exploding Snap but no, you had to
use the Time-Turner in a flagrant and unnecessary manner!"</p>
<p>"It was all I could think of! I don't even know what Exploding
Snap <i>is,</i> they wouldn't have accepted a game of chess and if
I'd picked arm-wresting I would have lost!"</p>
<p>"<i>Then you should have picked wrestling!</i> "</p>
<p>Harry blinked. "But then I'd have <i>lost</i> -"</p>
<p>Harry stopped.</p>
<p>Professor McGonagall was looking <i>very</i> angry.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Professor McGonagall," Harry said in a small voice.
"I honestly didn't think of that, and you're right, I should have,
it would have been brilliant if I had, but I just didn't think of
that at all..."</p>
<p>Harry's voice trailed off. It was suddenly apparent to him that
he'd had a <i>lot</i> of other options. He could have asked
<i>Draco</i> to suggest something, he could have asked the crowd...
his use of the Time-Turner <i>had</i> been flagrant and
unnecessary. There had been a giant space of possibilities, why had
he picked <i>that</i> one?</p>
<p>Because he'd seen a way to <i>win.</i> Win possession of an
unimportant trinket that the teachers would've taken back from Mr.
Goyle anyway.</p>
<p>Intent to win. That was what had gotten him.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," Harry said again. "For my pride and my
stupidity."</p>
<p>Professor McGonagall wiped a hand across her forehead. Some of
her anger seemed to dissipate. But her voice still came out very
hard. "One more display like that, Mr. Potter, and you will be
returning that Time-Turner. Do I make myself very clear?"</p>
<p>"Yes," Harry said. "I understand and I'm sorry."</p>
<p>"Then, Mr. Potter, you will be allowed to retain the Time-Turner
for now. And considering the size of the debacle you did, in fact,
avert, I will not deduct any points from Ravenclaw."</p>
<p><i>Plus you couldn't explain why you'd deducted the points.</i>
But Harry wasn't dumb enough to say that out loud.</p>
<p>"More importantly, why did the Remembrall go off like that?"
Harry said. "Does it mean I've been Obliviated?"</p>
<p>"That puzzles me as well," Professor McGonagall said slowly. "If
it were that simple, I would think that the courts would use
Remembralls, and they do not. I shall look into it, Mr. Potter."
She sighed. "You can go now."</p>
<p>Harry started to get up from his chair, then halted. "Um, sorry,
I did have something else I wanted to tell you -"</p>
<p>You could hardly see the flinch. "What is it, Mr. Potter?"</p>
<p>"It's about Professor Quirrell -"</p>
<p>"I'm sure, Mr. Potter, that it is nothing of importance."
Professor McGonagall spoke the words in a great rush. "Surely you
heard the Headmaster tell the students that you were not to bother
us with any unimportant complaints about the Defence
Professor?"</p>
<p>Harry was rather confused. "But this could <i>be</i> important,
yesterday I got this sudden sense of doom when -"</p>
<p>"Mr. Potter! I have a sense of doom as well! And my sense of
doom is suggesting that <i>you must not finish that
sentence!</i> "</p>
<p>Harry's mouth gaped open. Professor McGonagall had succeeded;
Harry was speechless.</p>
<p>"Mr. Potter," said Professor McGonagall, "if you have discovered
anything that seems interesting about Professor Quirrell, please
feel free not to share it with me or anyone else. Now I think
you've taken up enough of my valuable time -"</p>
<p>"<i>This isn't like you!</i> " Harry burst out. "I'm sorry but
that just seems <i>unbelievably</i> irresponsible! From what I've
heard there's some kind of jinx on the Defence position, and if you
already <i>know</i> something's going to go wrong, I'd think you'd
all be on your toes -"</p>
<p>"Go <i>wrong</i>, Mr. Potter? <i>I certainly hope not.</i>"
Professor McGonagall's face was expressionless. "After Professor
Blake was caught in a closet with no fewer than three fifth-year
Slytherins last February, and a year before that, Professor Summers
failed so completely as an educator that her students thought a
boggart was a kind of furniture, it would be <i>catastrophic</i> if
some problem with the extraordinarily competent Professor Quirrell
came to my attention now, and I daresay most of our students would
fail their Defence O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s."</p>
<p>"I see," Harry said slowly, taking it all in. "So in other
words, whatever's wrong with Professor Quirrell, you desperately
don't want to know about it until the end of the school year. And
since it's currently September, he could assassinate the Prime
Minister on live television and get away with it so far as you're
concerned."</p>
<p>Professor McGonagall gazed at him unblinkingly. "I am certain
that I could never be heard endorsing such a statement, Mr. Potter.
At Hogwarts we strive to be proactive with respect to
<i>anything</i> that threatens the educational attainment of our
students."</p>
<p><i>Such as first-year Ravenclaws who can't keep their mouths
shut.</i> "I believe I understand you completely, Professor
McGonagall."</p>
<p>"Oh, I doubt that, Mr. Potter. I doubt that very much."
Professor McGonagall leaned forward, her face tightening again.
"Since you and I have already discussed matters far more sensitive
than these, I shall speak frankly. You, and you alone, have
reported this mysterious sense of doom. You, and you alone, are a
chaos magnet the likes of which I have never seen. After our little
shopping trip to Diagon Alley, and <i>then</i> the Sorting Hat, and
then <i>today's</i> little episode, I can well foresee that I am
fated to sit in the Headmaster's office and hear some hilarious
tale about Professor Quirrell in which you and you alone play a
starring role, after which there will be no choice but to fire him.
I am already resigned to it, Mr. Potter. And if this sad event
takes place any earlier than the Ides of May, I will string you up
by the gates of Hogwarts with your own intestines and pour fire
beetles into your nose. <i>Now</i> do you understand me
completely?"</p>
<p>Harry nodded, his eyes very wide. Then, after a second, "What do
I get if I can make it happen on the last day of the school
year?"</p>
<p>"<i>Get out of my office!</i> "</p>
<hr size="1" noshade="noshade" />
<p>Thursday.</p>
<p>There must have been something about Thursdays in Hogwarts.</p>
<p>It was 5:32pm on Thursday afternoon, and Harry was standing next
to Professor Flitwick, in front of the great stone gargoyle that
guarded the entrance to the Headmaster's office.</p>
<p>No sooner had he made it back from Professor McGonagall's office
to the Ravenclaw study rooms than one of the students told him to
report to Professor Flitwick's office, and there Harry had learned
that Dumbledore wanted to speak to him.</p>
<p>Harry, feeling rather apprehensive, had asked Professor Flitwick
if the Headmaster had said what this was about.</p>
<p>Professor Flitwick had shrugged in a helpless sort of way.</p>
<p>Apparently Dumbledore had said that Harry was far too young to
invoke the words of power and madness.</p>
<p><i>Happy happy boom boom swamp swamp swamp?</i> Harry had
thought but not said aloud.</p>
<p>"Please don't worry too much, Mr. Potter," squeaked Professor
Flitwick from somewhere around Harry's shoulder level. (Harry was
grateful for Professor Flitwick's gigantic puffy beard, it was hard
getting used to a Professor who was not only shorter than him but
spoke in a higher-pitched voice.) "Headmaster Dumbledore may seem a
little odd, or a lot odd, or even extremely odd, but he has never
hurt a student in the slightest, and I don't believe he ever will."
Professor Flitwick gave Harry an encouraging smile. "Just keep that
in mind at all times and you'll be sure not to panic!"</p>
<p>This was not helping.</p>
<p>"Good luck!" squeaked Professor Flitwick, and leaned over to the
gargoyle and said something that Harry somehow failed to hear at
all. (Of course, the password wouldn't be much good if you could
hear someone saying it.) And the stone gargoyle walked aside with a
very natural and ordinary movement that Harry found rather
shocking, since the gargoyle still looked like solid, immovable
stone the whole time.</p>
<p>Behind the gargoyle was a set of slowly revolving spiral stairs.
There was something disturbingly hypnotic about it, and even more
disturbing was that <i>revolving</i> the spiral ought not to take
you anywhere.</p>
<p>"Up you go!" squeaked Flitwick.</p>
<p>Harry rather nervously stepped onto the spiral, and found
himself, for some reason that his brain couldn't seem to visualise
at all, moving upwards.</p>
<p>The gargoyle thudded back into place behind him, and the spiral
stairs kept turning and Harry kept being higher up, and after a
rather dizzying time, Harry found himself in front of an oak door
with a brass griffin knocker.</p>
<p>Harry reached out and turned the doorknob.</p>
<p>The door swung open.</p>
<p>And Harry saw the most interesting room he'd ever seen in his
life.</p>
<p>There were tiny metal mechanisms that whirred or ticked or
slowly changed shape or emitted little puffs of smoke. There were
dozens of mysterious fluids in dozens of oddly shaped containers,
all bubbling, boiling, oozing, changing color, or forming into
interesting shapes that vanished half a second after you saw them.
There were things that looked like clocks with many hands,
inscribed with numbers or in unrecognisable languages. There was a
bracelet bearing a lenticular crystal that sparkled with a thousand
colors, and a bird perched atop a golden platform, and a wooden cup
filled with what looked like blood, and a statue of a falcon
encrusted in black enamel. The wall was all hung with pictures of
people sleeping, and the Sorting Hat was casually poised on a
hatrack that was also holding two umbrellas and three red slippers
for left feet.</p>
<p>In the midst of all the chaos was a clean black oaken desk.
Before the desk was an oaken stool. And behind the desk was a
well-cushioned throne containing Albus Percival Wulfric Brian
Dumbledore, who was adorned with a long silver beard, a hat like a
squashed giant mushroom, and what looked to Muggle eyes like three
layers of bright pink pyjamas.</p>
<p>Dumbledore was smiling, and his bright eyes twinkled with a mad
intensity.</p>
<p>With some trepidation, Harry seated himself in front of the
desk. The door swung shut behind him with a loud <i>thunk.</i></p>
<p>"Hello, Harry," said Dumbledore.</p>
<p>"Hello, Headmaster," Harry replied. So they were on a first-name
basis? Would Dumbledore now say to call him -</p>
<p>"Please, Harry!" said Dumbledore. "Headmaster sounds so formal.
Just call me Heh for short."</p>
<p>"I'll be sure to, Heh," said Harry.</p>
<p>There was a slight pause.</p>
<p>"Do you know," said Dumbledore, "you're the first person who's
ever taken me up on that?"</p>
<p>"Ah..." Harry said. He tried to control his voice despite the
sudden sinking feeling in his stomach. "I'm sorry, I, ah,
Headmaster, you told me to do it so I did -"</p>
<p>"Heh, please!" said Dumbledore cheerfully. "And there's no call
to be so worried, I won't launch you out a window just because you
make one mistake. I'll give you plenty of warnings first, if you're
doing something wrong! Besides, what matters isn't how people talk
to you, it's what they think of you."</p>
<p><i>He's never hurt a student, just keep remembering that and
you'll be sure not to panic.</i></p>
<p>Dumbledore drew forth a small metal case and flipped it open,
showing some small yellow lumps. "Sherbet lemon?" said the
Headmaster.</p>
<p>"Er, no thank you, Heh," said Harry. <i>Does slipping a student
LSD count as hurting them, or does that fall into the category of
harmless fun?</i> "You, um, said something about my being too young
to invoke the words of power and madness?"</p>
<p>"That you most certainly are!" Dumbledore said. "Thankfully the
Words of Power and Madness were lost seven centuries ago and no one
has the slightest idea what they are anymore. It was just a little
remark."</p>
<p>"Ah..." Harry said. He was aware that his mouth was hanging
open. "Why did you call me here, then?"</p>
<p>"<i>Why?</i> " Dumbledore repeated. "Ah, Harry, if I went around
all day asking <i>why</i> I do things, I'd never have time to get a
single thing done! I'm quite a busy person, you know."</p>
<p>Harry nodded, smiling. "Yes, it was a very impressive list.
Headmaster of Hogwarts, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, and
Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards.
Sorry to ask but I was wondering, is it possible to get more than
six hours if you use more than one Time-Turner? Because it's pretty
impressive if you're doing all that on just thirty hours a
day."</p>
<p>There was another slight pause, during which Harry went on
smiling. He was a little apprehensive, actually a lot apprehensive,
but once it had become clear that Dumbledore was deliberately
messing with him, something within him <i>absolutely refused</i> to
sit and take it like a defenceless lump.</p>
<p>"I'm afraid Time doesn't like being stretched out too much,"
said Dumbledore after the slight pause, "and yet we ourselves seem
to be a little too large for it, and so it's a constant struggle to
fit our lives into Time."</p>
<p>"Indeed," Harry said with grave solemnity. "That's why it's best
to come to our points quickly."</p>
<p>For a moment Harry wondered if he'd gone too far.</p>
<p>Then Dumbledore chuckled. "Straight to the point it shall be."
The Headmaster leaned forwards, tilting his squashed mushroom hat
and brushing his beard against his desk. "Harry, this Monday you
did something that should have been impossible even with a
Time-Turner. Or rather, impossible with <i>only</i> a Time-Turner.
Where did those two pies come from, I wonder?"</p>
<p>A jolt of adrenaline shot through Harry. He'd done that using
the Cloak of Invisibility, the one that had been given him in a
Christmas box along with a note, and that note had said: <i>If
Dumbledore saw a chance to possess one of the Deathly Hallows he
would never let it escape his grasp.</i><i>...</i></p>
<p>"A natural thought," Dumbledore went on, "is that since none of
the first-years present were able to cast such a spell, someone
else was present, and yet unseen. And if no one could see them,
why, it would be easy enough for them to throw the pies. One might
further suspect that since you had a Time-Turner, you were the
invisible one; and that since the spell of Disillusionment is far
beyond your current abilities, you had an invisibility cloak."
Dumbledore smiled conspiratorially. "Am I on the right track so
far, Harry?"</p>
<p>Harry was frozen. He had the feeling that an outright lie would
not at all be wise, and possibly not the least bit helpful, and he
couldn't think of anything else to say.</p>
<p>Dumbledore waved a friendly hand. "Don't worry, Harry, you
haven't done anything wrong. Invisibility cloaks aren't against the
rules - I suppose they're rare enough that no one ever got around
to putting them on the list. But really I was wondering something
else entirely."</p>
<p>"Oh?" Harry said in the most normal voice he could manage.</p>
<p>Dumbledore's eyes shone with enthusiasm. "You see, Harry, after
you've been through a few adventures you tend to catch the hang of
these things. You start to see the pattern, hear the rhythm of the
world. You begin to harbour suspicions <i>before</i> the moment of
revelation. You are the Boy-Who-Lived, and somehow an invisibility
cloak made its way into your hands only four days after you
discovered our magical Britain. Such cloaks are not for sale in
Diagon Alley, but there is <i>one</i> which might find its own way
to a destined wearer. And so I cannot help but wonder if by some
strange chance you have found not just <i>an</i> invisibility
cloak, but <i>the</i> Cloak of Invisibility, one of the three
Deathly Hallows and reputed to hide the wearer from the gaze of
Death himself." Dumbledore's gaze was bright and eager. "May I see
it, Harry?"</p>
<p>Harry swallowed. There was a full flood of adrenaline in his
system now and it was entirely useless, this was the most powerful
wizard in the world and there was no way he could make it out the
door and there was nowhere in Hogwarts for him to hide if he did,
he was about to lose the Cloak that had been passed down through
the Potters for who knew how long -</p>
<p>Slowly Dumbledore leaned back into his high chair. The bright
light had gone out of his eyes, and he looked puzzled and a little
sorrowful. "Harry," said Dumbledore, "if you don't want to, you can
just say no."</p>
<p>"I can?" Harry croaked.</p>
<p>"Yes, Harry," said Dumbledore. His voice sounded sad now, and
worried. "It seems that you're afraid of me, Harry. May I ask what
I've done to earn your distrust?"</p>
<p>Harry swallowed. "Is there some way you can swear a binding
magical oath that you won't take my cloak?"</p>
<p>Dumbledore shook his head slowly. "Unbreakable Vows are not to
be used so lightly. And besides, Harry, if you did not already know
the spell, you would have only my word that the spell was binding.
Yet surely you realise that I do not <i>need</i> your permission to
see the Cloak. I am powerful enough to draw it forth myself,
mokeskin pouch or no." Dumbledore's face was very grave. "But this
I will not do. The Cloak is yours, Harry. I will not seize it from
you. Not even to look at for just a moment, unless you decide to
show it to me. That is a promise and an oath. Should I need to
prohibit you from using it on the school grounds, I will require
you to go to your vault at Gringotts and store it there."</p>
<p>"Ah..." Harry said. He swallowed hard, trying to calm the flood
of adrenaline and think reasonably. He took the mokeskin pouch off
his belt. "If you really <i>don't</i> need my permission... then
you have it." Harry held out the pouch to Dumbledore, and bit down
hard on his lip, sending that signal to himself in case he was
Obliviated afterwards.</p>
<p>The old wizard reached into the pouch, and without saying any
word of retrieval, drew forth the Cloak of Invisibility.</p>
<p>"Ah," breathed Dumbledore. "I was right..." He poured the
shimmering black velvet mesh through his hand. "Centuries old, and
still as perfect as the day it was made. We have lost much of our
art over the years, and now I cannot make such a thing myself, no
one can. I can feel the power of it like an echo in my mind, like a
song forever being sung without anyone to hear it..." The wizard
looked up from the Cloak. "Do not sell it," he said, "do not give
it to anyone as a possession. Think twice before you show it to
anyone, and ponder three times again before you reveal it is a
Deathly Hallow. Treat it with respect, for this is indeed a Thing
of Power."</p>
<p>For a moment Dumbledore's face grew wistful...</p>
<p>...and then he handed the Cloak back to Harry.</p>
<p>Harry put it back in his pouch.</p>
<p>Dumbledore's face was grave once more. "May I ask again, Harry,
how you came to distrust me so?"</p>
<p>Suddenly Harry felt rather ashamed.</p>
<p>"There was a note with the Cloak," Harry said in a small voice.
"It said that you would try to take the Cloak from me, if you knew.
I don't know who left the note, though, I really don't."</p>
<p>"I... see," Dumbledore said slowly. "Well, Harry, I won't impugn
the motives of whoever left you that note. Who knows but that they
themselves may have had the best of good intentions? They did give
you the Cloak, after all."</p>
<p>Harry nodded, impressed by Dumbledore's charity, and abashed at
the sharp contrast with his own attitude.</p>
<p>The old wizard went on. "But you and I are both gamepieces of
the same color, I think. The boy who finally defeated Voldemort,
and the old man who held him off long enough for you to save the
day. I will not hold your caution against you, Harry, we must all
do our best to be wise. I will only ask that you think twice and
ponder three times again, the next time someone tells you to
distrust me."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," Harry said. He felt wretched at this point, he'd
just told off Gandalf essentially, and Dumbledore's kindness was
only making him feel worse. "I shouldn't have distrusted you."</p>
<p>"Alas, Harry, in this world..." The old wizard shook his head.
"I cannot even say you were unwise. You did not know me. And in
truth there are some at Hogwarts who you would do well not to
trust. Perhaps even some you call friends."</p>
<p>Harry swallowed. That sounded rather ominous. "Like who?"</p>
<p>Dumbledore stood up from his chair, and began examining one of
his instruments, a dial with eight hands of varying length.</p>
<p>After a few moments, the old wizard spoke again. "He probably
seems to you quite charming," said Dumbledore. "Polite - to you at
least. Well-spoken, maybe even admiring. Always ready with a
helping hand, a favour, a word of advice -"</p>
<p>"Oh, <i>Draco Malfoy!</i> " Harry said, feeling rather relieved
that it wasn't Hermione or something. "Oh no, no no no, you've got
it all wrong, he's not turning me, I'm turning him."</p>
<p>Dumbledore froze where he was peering at the dial. "You're
<i>what?</i> "</p>
<p>"I'm going to turn Draco Malfoy from the Dark Side," Harry said.
"You know, make him a good guy."</p>
<p>Dumbledore straightened and turned to Harry. He was wearing one
of the most astonished expressions Harry had ever seen on anyone,
let alone someone with a long silver beard. "Are you certain," said
the old wizard after a moment, "that he is ready to be redeemed? I
fear that whatever goodness you think you see within him is only
wishful thinking - or worse, a lure, a bait -"</p>
<p>"Er, not likely," Harry said. "I mean if he's trying to disguise
himself as a good guy he's incredibly bad at it. This isn't a
question of Draco coming up to me and being all charming and me
deciding that he must have a hidden core of goodness deep down. I
selected him for redemption specifically because he's the heir to
House Malfoy and if you had to pick one person to redeem, it would
obviously be him."</p>
<p>Dumbledore's left eye twitched. "You intend to sow seeds of love
and kindness in Draco Malfoy's heart because you expect Malfoy's
heir to prove valuable to you?"</p>
<p>"Not just to <i>me!</i> " Harry said indignantly. "To all of
magical Britain, if this works out! <i>And</i> he'll have a happier
and mentally healthier life himself! Look, I don't have enough time
to turn <i>everyone</i> away from the Dark Side and I've got to ask
where the Light can gain the most advantage the fastest -"</p>
<p>Dumbledore started laughing. Laughing a lot harder than Harry
would expect, almost howling. It seemed positively
<i>undignified.</i> An ancient and powerful wizard ought to chuckle
in deep booming tones, not laugh so hard he was gasping for breath.
Harry had once literally fallen out of his chair while watching the
Marx Brothers movie <i>Duck Soup,</i> and that was how hard
Dumbledore was laughing now.</p>
<p>"It's not <i>that</i> funny," Harry said after a while. He was
starting to worry about Dumbledore's sanity again.</p>
<p>Dumbledore got himself under control again with a visible
effort. "Ah, Harry, one symptom of the disease called wisdom is
that you begin laughing at things that no one else thinks is funny,
because when you're wise, Harry, you start getting the jokes!" The
old wizard wiped tears away from his eyes. "Ah, me. Ah, me. Oft
evil will shall evil mar indeed, in very deed."</p>
<p>Harry's brain took a moment to place the familiar words... "Hey,
that's a <i>Tolkien</i> quote! <i>Gandalf</i> says that!"</p>
<p>"Theoden, actually," said Dumbledore.</p>
<p>"You're <i>Muggleborn?</i> " Harry said in shock.</p>
<p>"I'm afraid not," said Dumbledore, smiling again. "I was born
seventy years before that book was published, dear child. But it