-
Notifications
You must be signed in to change notification settings - Fork 1
/
index.html
416 lines (272 loc) · 14.1 KB
/
index.html
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200
201
202
203
204
205
206
207
208
209
210
211
212
213
214
215
216
217
218
219
220
221
222
223
224
225
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248
249
250
251
252
253
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
267
268
269
270
271
272
273
274
275
276
277
278
279
280
281
282
283
284
285
286
287
288
289
290
291
292
293
294
295
296
297
298
299
300
301
302
303
304
305
306
307
308
309
310
311
312
313
314
315
316
317
318
319
320
321
322
323
324
325
326
327
328
329
330
331
332
333
334
335
336
337
338
339
340
341
342
343
344
345
346
347
348
349
350
351
352
353
354
355
356
357
358
359
360
361
362
363
364
365
366
367
368
369
370
371
372
373
374
375
376
377
378
379
380
381
382
383
384
385
386
387
388
389
390
391
392
393
394
395
396
397
398
399
400
401
402
403
404
405
406
407
408
409
410
411
412
413
414
415
416
<!DOCTYPE html>
<html lang="en" data-theme="dark-poole">
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
<title>
kivikakk.ee
</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/styles.css">
<link rel="apple-touch-icon-precomposed" sizes="144x144" href="/assets/ashe-icon-144.png">
<link rel="shortcut icon" href="/assets/favicon.ico">
<link rel="alternate" type="application/atom+xml" title="kivikakk.ee" href="/atom.xml">
<meta name="theme-color" content="#3E2349">
<!-- Begin Jekyll SEO tag v2.8.0 -->
<meta name="generator" content="Jekyll v4.3.3" />
<meta property="og:title" content="Home" />
<meta name="author" content="Asherah Connor" />
<meta property="og:locale" content="en_US" />
<link rel="canonical" href="https://kivikakk.ee/" />
<meta property="og:url" content="https://kivikakk.ee/" />
<meta property="og:site_name" content="kivikakk.ee" />
<meta property="og:type" content="website" />
<link rel="next" href="https://kivikakk.ee/posts/2/" />
<meta name="twitter:card" content="summary" />
<meta property="twitter:title" content="Home" />
<script type="application/ld+json">
{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"WebSite","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"Asherah Connor","url":"https://kivikakk.ee"},"headline":"Home","name":"kivikakk.ee","url":"https://kivikakk.ee/"}</script>
<!-- End Jekyll SEO tag -->
</head>
<body>
<div class="container content">
<header class="masthead">
<h3 class="masthead-title">
<a href="/" title="Home">kivikakk.ee</a>
<nav class="nav">
<small><a href="/">Home</a></small>
<small><a href="/about/">About</a></small>
<small><a href="/index/">Index</a></small>
<small><a href="/atom.xml">RSS</a></small>
</nav>
</h3>
</header>
<main>
<div class="posts">
<article class="post">
<div class="my-id">
<img src="/assets/mia-icon.jpg" width="64" height="64">
</div>
<h1 class="post-title">
<a href="/2025/01/04/nix-humour/">
Nix humour
</a>
</h1>
<time datetime="2025-01-04T00:00:00+11:00" class="post-date">04 Jan 2025</time>
<p>Something about this really fucks.</p>
<p><img src="/assets/post-img/expected-scenario.png" alt="Screenshot of an excerpt from a NixOS wiki page: "Tip - The above assumes
you have root access on the remote machine, that allows you to create such a
weakly priviledged user, or that you have good relationship with your system
administrator - which is the expected scenario if they have installed Nix
system-wide."" /></p>
</article>
<article class="post">
<div class="my-id">
<img src="/assets/mia-icon.jpg" width="64" height="64">
</div>
<h1 class="post-title">
<a href="/2025/01/03/fear/">
Fear
</a>
</h1>
<time datetime="2025-01-03T00:00:00+11:00" class="post-date">03 Jan 2025</time>
<p>content note: physical illness, death, suicide.</p>
<p>one thing about spending enough time fearing death, for whatever reason and
reasons that may be, is that one end to it is not removing the originator of
that fear — which depending on your psyche or conditions may not always be
possible — but learning to not fear death instead.</p>
<p>i basically think anyone who spends enough time in panic over enough years
is liable to end up this way. the alternatives are burning to a husk, loss of
reality checking, or suicide.</p>
<p>personally still a bit afraid — not so indifferent that i’d go hard for no
reason when exercising yesterday, for instance, i give my body what it asks
for (fluid movements, light effort, nothing anaerobic), but not so afraid that
i won’t do my best to purposefully trigger the new arrhythmia when doing the
holter monitor next week, despite risk inherent in inducing one.</p>
<p>i find i keep having to say to myself, if this is all it would take to kill
me, then now or in two weeks accidentally say, it really makes no odds. that
i have to deploy this regularly to move forward with my days evinces a certain
something. and while the uncertainty itself is one degree of unbearable, a kind
of assertion that i cannot trust in my self-knowledge, the collective absence of
faith from others is another.</p>
<p>if the condition finally gets worse after decades, if everyone’s been telling
you it’s false/“Just Anxiety”/psychosomatic/“functional” (given decades of panic
disorder etc.), and now it’s enough to be visible, it’s a relief and starts to
feel your only ally — the only true thing in all this time. i don’t know if it’s
true that the same death i feared and felt daily in my mid-teens until my early
20s <em>is</em> this one, the one now manifesting so physically, or the one that stole
a few years away from me from 2016, but on reflection i’ve spent most of the
last 22 years actively fearing and feeling death.</p>
<p>an end to this uncertainty and the loneliness within it is not exactly an
unwelcome thing in and of itself. we were never promised even one day of the
beauty of life, y’know? and i have experienced so much of it, awe-inspiring and
terrible and banal. nothing was ever ever promised.</p>
</article>
<article class="post">
<div class="my-id">
<img src="/assets/mia-icon.jpg" width="64" height="64">
</div>
<h1 class="post-title">
<a href="/2025/01/02/2025/">
2025
</a>
</h1>
<time datetime="2025-01-02T00:00:00+11:00" class="post-date">02 Jan 2025</time>
<p>Happy new year!</p>
<p>I guess I’m taking a slightly more laid-back approach to goals this year.
<a href="https://kivikakk.ee/2024/10/13/led/">Health issues</a> have unfortunately progressed; whatever pain relief I
was getting from the duloxetine (or otherwise), either that effect has worn
off or the pain levels have risen to break through.</p>
<p>I’ve also encountered a new arrhythmia, so “sudden cardiac death” is back on the
menu of dread. Holter monitor next week where I’ll try to reproduce that without
dying. Rheumatologist follow-up appointment where I expect to be diagnosed with
hEDS in … 12 weeks. So it goes.</p>
<p>Goals, then.</p>
<h3 id="keep-up-duolingo">Keep up Duolingo.</h3>
<p>866 days now; the streak isn’t the important thing, but it has been a really
good lesson in proving to myself I can stay consistent with things given
the right motivation. (In this case, being able to speak my partner’s native
language.)</p>
<p>Duolingo isn’t for everyone, and the course quality varies wildly, but the
Spanish course for English speakers is incredible, and if you spend 15-20
minutes a day on it, and let it be your fallback activity when bored, you will
steadily but surely gain an extremely real facility with the language.</p>
<p>(This much time is also enough to reliably sit around Obsidian/Diamond league,
and sometimes it can be a nice dopamine hit to make an effort to finish at #1.)</p>
<p>I have the benefit of being around a native speaker all the time, but the first
year or so my level wasn’t anywhere near being able to use it casually without
it getting annoying for both of us. By now, we can switch in and out pretty
comfortably around the topics I’ve covered lexicon for.</p>
<p>I’ve also added Portuguese on the side, spending roughly half my time each day
on each, and it works pretty well! I wouldn’t start two at once (especially
closely related languages like these; too confusing), but being a few years in
with one makes it an easy way to bootstrap another habit. Português é estranho,
mas eu gosto :) It’s a much shorter and less developed course than the Spanish
one, so I expect I’ll finish it this year and start another in its stead.</p>
<h3 id="daily-meditation">Daily meditation.</h3>
<p>Planning to slot this in with my Duolingo practice. I’ve been an on-and-off
meditator for 20 years or so now. I need the equanimity now more than ever.</p>
<h3 id="home-cooked-meals">Home-cooked meals.</h3>
<p>This has been a real struggle over the last year or two, with energy levels so
low (and no microwave in the Tallinn apartment!), but since moving into my new
place back in Melbourne it’s been a key focus. Just need to keep it up.</p>
<h3 id="deliver-the-ava-mvp">Deliver the Ava MVP.</h3>
<p>Charlotte’s been working non-stop on <a href="https://github.com/charlottia/ava">Ava BASIC</a> (<a href="https://kivikakk.ee/zig/2024/08/06/t%C3%BC%C3%BCpiautomaat/">previously</a>) since
July, and hopefully we can get that into a complete MVP this year.</p>
<h3 id="secondary-project">Secondary project.</h3>
<p>Having an “off” project would be nice. This is a vaguer goal, but I get the
feeling technical writing would be a good fit for us.</p>
<h3 id="keep-learning">Keep learning.</h3>
<p>So far I have an unsorted list of things I’d like to learn or improve at:</p>
<ul>
<li>Formal methods in digital design. We’ve played around with this a bit (e.g. with
<a href="https://github.com/robertbaruch/amaranth-exercises">Robert Baruch’s Amaranth exercises</a>; solving Sudoku with
HDL and formal was a cool and unexpected twist), but not enough to usefully use it
in actual designs.</li>
<li>Likewise, something like <a href="https://lean-lang.org/">Lean</a> and perhaps <a href="https://github.com/informalsystems/quint">Quint</a>.</li>
<li>Stenography with <a href="http://www.openstenoproject.org/">Open Steno</a>.</li>
<li>Training on the Africa Twin; I’ve been rebuilding confidence since a fall
after a tyre replacement early last year, but I’d like some controlled
conditions to push the envelope a bit.</li>
</ul>
</article>
<article class="post">
<div class="my-id">
<img src="/assets/mia-icon.jpg" width="64" height="64">
</div>
<h1 class="post-title">
<a href="/2024/12/30/StaleObjectStateException/">
StaleObjectStateException
</a>
</h1>
<time datetime="2024-12-30T00:00:00+11:00" class="post-date">30 Dec 2024</time>
<p><img src="/assets/post-img/StaleObjectStateException.jpg" alt="Photograph of a Woolworths self-checkout machine, with an error message:
"Transaction concurrency error (StaleObjectStateException), Please retry"" /></p>
</article>
<article class="post">
<div class="my-id">
<img src="/assets/mia-icon.jpg" width="64" height="64">
</div>
<h1 class="post-title">
<a href="/2024/12/24/lottia-notes-continues/">
lottia notes continues
</a>
</h1>
<time datetime="2024-12-24T00:00:00+11:00" class="post-date">24 Dec 2024</time>
<p>A follow-up to <a href="https://kivikakk.ee/2024/01/03/lottia-notes/">lottia notes</a>:</p>
<p>Charlotte continues to write <a href="https://lottia.net/notes/">there</a> (though about more topics now, including Nix
and Git/jj), and I’m considering her readership bootstrapped after a year of
crossposts. <a href="https://lottia.net/notes/atom.xml">Her Atom feed is linked</a>.</p>
</article>
<article class="post">
<div class="my-id">
<img src="/assets/lotte-icon.png" width="64" height="64">
</div>
<h1 class="post-title">
<a href="https://lottia.net/notes/0015-comptime-flow-exhaustiveness.html">
Comptime, flow, and exhaustiveness
</a>
</h1>
<time datetime="2024-12-17T21:02:36+11:00" class="post-date">17 Dec 2024</time>
<p><em>Cross-post from <a href="https://lottia.net/notes/0015-comptime-flow-exhaustiveness.html">lottia notes</a>.</em></p>
</article>
<article class="post">
<div class="my-id">
<img src="/assets/mia-icon.jpg" width="64" height="64">
</div>
<h1 class="post-title">
<a href="/2024/12/15/12e2v/">
1.2E+2 Volts (AC)
</a>
</h1>
<time datetime="2024-12-15T00:00:00+11:00" class="post-date">15 Dec 2024</time>
<p><img src="/assets/post-img/12e2v.png" alt="Amazon entry excerpt which reads: "Voltage: 1.2E+2 Volts (AC)"" /></p>
</article>
<article class="post">
<div class="my-id">
<img src="/assets/lotte-icon.png" width="64" height="64">
</div>
<h1 class="post-title">
<a href="https://lottia.net/notes/0014-hidpi-platform-specific-hacks.html">
Platform-specific hacks for high-DPI
</a>
</h1>
<time datetime="2024-11-24T22:20:00+11:00" class="post-date">24 Nov 2024</time>
<p><em>Cross-post from <a href="https://lottia.net/notes/0014-hidpi-platform-specific-hacks.html">lottia notes</a>.</em></p>
</article>
<article class="post">
<div class="my-id">
<img src="/assets/lotte-icon.png" width="64" height="64">
</div>
<h1 class="post-title">
<a href="https://lottia.net/notes/0013-git-jujutsu-miniature.html">
Git and jujutsu: in miniature
</a>
</h1>
<time datetime="2024-11-09T14:30:00+11:00" class="post-date">09 Nov 2024</time>
<p><em>Cross-post from <a href="https://lottia.net/notes/0013-git-jujutsu-miniature.html">lottia notes</a>.</em></p>
</article>
<article class="post">
<div class="my-id">
<img src="/assets/lotte-icon.png" width="64" height="64">
</div>
<h1 class="post-title">
<a href="https://lottia.net/notes/0012-soft-skills.html">
Soft skills: jujutsu early feelings
</a>
</h1>
<time datetime="2024-11-07T17:55:00+11:00" class="post-date">07 Nov 2024</time>
<p><em>Cross-post from <a href="https://lottia.net/notes/0012-soft-skills.html">lottia notes</a>.</em></p>
</article>
</div>
<div class="pagination">
<span class="pagination-item newer">Newer</span>
<a class="pagination-item older" href="/posts/2/">Older</a>
</div>
</main>
<footer class="footer">
<a href="/archive/">Archived blog</a>
<small>Xx</small>
</footer>
</div>
</body>
</html>